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It’s good to know that I’m not alone in my suffering.We’re going to be going to several areas today, some dark and some not so dark. As I said in the Night of Hell post I no longer believe much of anything religiously. I had a conversation with a friend that turned me on my ear. As I had stated in NOH I was extremely enraged at the Christian god for ignoring me. When I say enraged I mean the Hulk on a rampage would be considered slightly ticked in comparison. My friend who has walked through this entire mess with me said to me: “I know why God’s ignoring you.”Me:”Why, other than the fact I’m an asshole?”Friend: “You killed God. You’ve spent your entire life searching for wisdom. You’ve studied religion, magick, psychology, all of it. You killed your belief in god long before you ever got sick. When you faced that darkness you knew you were the only one there and that you couldn’t answer your own prayer.”Me: “Wait a minute, You’re saying I’m mad at myself?”Friend: “Yes.”I felt the. At the Pavilion, the sound of harps, fiddles and flutes began softly and grew in volume as the choir made their descent. Their music ended as the IPTPs touched the ground in the courtyard. The silence quickly gave way to applause. The choir bowed, before following Melanie to the dressing room.Nainsi of Christina's clan watched a young woman with two teenagers come over to examine the IPTPs the choir had arrived on. When Nainsi started toward her, she heard one of the children say, "Oriel, someone's coming." Oriel looked up toward Nainsi and smiled weakly."Hi," said Nainsi. "So what do you think of our Individual Planetary Transport Platform or IPTPs?" They are amazing. When we first saw them, they appeared to be floating on air. If someone had told me about it, I wouldn't have believed them. I'll bet it really feels neat to just float through the air on those." Oriel looked longingly at the IPTP as she tried to grasp the purpose of the controls. To Nainsi, it was clear from Oriel's.
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